Early in my mentoring journey, I met a young man whose energy and potential were unmistakable — but so was his lack of direction. Every session, we’d discuss possibilities, but his goals changed week to week. One day I asked, “If we were to meet again a year from now, what would you love to have achieved?” That question stopped him. It gave him permission to imagine—and then define—his own purpose.
From that day forward, our conversations became more focused. He began to see himself not as drifting through life but as taking small, deliberate steps toward something meaningful. Mentoring, at its heart, helps people move from confusion to clarity—from vague dreams to purposeful action.
The research behind goal setting
Mentoring studies consistently emphasise the importance of goal orientation. The Centre for Evidence-Based Mentoring highlights that mentees who set specific, achievable goals are more likely to report satisfaction and measurable progress in their development. Similarly, research by Rhodes and Lowe (2009) found that goal-focused mentoring relationships produce stronger educational and career outcomes because they channel motivation into direction.
Goal setting also aligns with what psychologists call self-determination theory—the idea that humans thrive when they experience autonomy, competence, and purpose. When mentors guide mentees to define and pursue their own goals, they help unlock all three.
Mentoring in practice
In my CHOICES framework, this quality aligns naturally with Clear Goals—the “C” that sets the direction for the entire mentoring relationship. When goals are clear, both mentor and mentee know what they’re working toward.
Here are three practices that can help mentors support purposeful goal setting:
- Start with the “why.”
Help mentees explore their deeper motivations. Ask: “Why does this matter to you?” Purpose sustains progress when obstacles arise. - Break goals into achievable steps.
Large goals can feel overwhelming. Guide mentees to set smaller milestones that provide momentum and celebrate progress along the way. - Review and refine.
Life changes. Goals evolve. Revisit them regularly to ensure they still align with values and priorities.
The mentor’s role isn’t to dictate the destination but to help clarify the direction, also to focus on effort—and walk alongside as the mentee takes the journey.
Reflection challenge
Ask a mentee (or yourself), “What one goal, if achieved in the next six months, would make the biggest positive difference?” Write it down. Try and envision achieving this goal, and create that image in your mind. Then identify the first small step—and commit to it this week.
Concluding thoughts
Great mentors don’t just help people dream—they help them act. Purposeful direction turns potential into progress.
My experience mentoring over 1000 teenagers has highlighted the importance of mentees setting their own specific, measurable, and achievable goals, while I am the non-judgmental cheerleader supporting, encouraging and guiding them to reach their potential.
“Clarity of purpose transforms good intentions into lasting change.” — Robin Cox
Next week: “Staying the Course — Mentoring Through the Ups and Downs.”
Cover Photo by Unma Desai on Unsplash
